


Alone

by Imperfectprincessxx



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, has a bit of larry in it, i wrote this two years ago and forgot about it until now, this is so bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-29
Updated: 2013-08-29
Packaged: 2017-12-24 23:24:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/945918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imperfectprincessxx/pseuds/Imperfectprincessxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He noticed everything the older boy did, from tapping his foot and singing the words of the song they were about to perform quietly under his breath, to how he would always look away when he lied but pulled it off so that no one noticed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for how bad this is, i wrote it two years ago and i completely forgot about it and I thought it was one of my more decent fics so i decided to post it.

Liam looked around the nearly empty flat and snuck towards the kitchen. He looked around once more before opening the drawer and taking the small package out. He quickly shut the drawer and snuck out to the balcony, careful not to wake Zayn, who was sleeping on the couch. He looked out over the city taking in his surroundings. It was a cold night but the cold made him feel for once, other than pain and confusion. He sighed and opened the package and took out one of the cigarettes bringing it shakily to his mouth, he pulled out his lighter and lit it, his hand making a wall between the flame and the cold bitter winds of London.

 

He lit his cigarette and inhaled. He held the smoke in for a second closing his eyes. He had been doing this for a while, smoking, he always waited until every person had left his apartment or the occasional person staying would fall asleep, then he would  out sneak to his balcony so the place wouldn’t stink of stale smoke. It always helped him in a weird way that made no sense to him at all, yet he found it rather relaxing. It was like his own little world that he could escape to, to think out his problems and look at them in a new prospective view.

 

It had all started when Liam fist laid eyes on  _him_ He didn’t know how to explain it or how it could have possibly happened, but the moment he first laid eyes on Zayn Malik his whole world fell apart and he felt like he didn’t know himself. He thought he was never going to see the Bradford boy again or well speak to him after boot camp when they weren’t put through, but then Simon fucking Cowell had the brilliant idea of putting them in a boy band together, and the feeling Liam got in the pit of his stomach intensified. He noticed everything the older boy did, from tapping his foot and singing the words of the song they were about to perform quietly under his breath, to how he would always look away when he lied but pulled it off so that no one noticed.

 

Liam exhaled the smoke before taking another drag. He was pretty sure he was in love with the Bradford boy, but he knew that his feelings would never be reciprocated, because Zayn was straight, and extremely homophobic, which caused most of Liam’s pain. Knowing that Zayn hated people like him, and he also knew that no matter what the older boy did or said he would always love Zayn.

 

So telling Zayn about his feelings was obviously  _not_  an option unless he wanted the band to break up, because they needed all five members to function properly, and then that would make him leaving the band and Zayn not an option, because the fans would be heart broken, and Niall, Harry, Louis and Zayn would be upset. And he never wanted to hurt Zayn, or any of the boys for that mater. They were like his brothers his three hyperactive brothers, and Zayn.

 

He knew it was wrong to feel that way, to favor one band member more than the others, but Harry and Louis did it. Liam knew there was something there between the youngest and oldest band members but knew not to mention anything and let them figure it out for themselves.

 

“What are you doing?” Liam startled, started coughing.

 

“Zayn?” Liam choked out.

 

“Liam, are you smoking?” Zayn asked.

 

“Well that’s a stupid question.” Liam said as he started to calm down again.

 

“Why are you smoking?” Zayn asked.

 

“Because I can.” Liam replied, coughing a little.

 

“Liam, that’s doesn’t really answer my question.” Zayn replied.

 

“Well I highly doubt its any of your business any ways.” Liam said, taking another drag and exhaling.

 

“Liam…please just tell me why.” Zayn said softly.

 

“I’m just stressed.” Liam said, though it was true he felt like he was lying to himself and Zayn.

 

“Liam, we’re all stressed but I highly doubt something as silly as that is making you of all people smoke. “ Zayn said.

 

“Well I really doubt its any of your business.” Liam said rolling his eyes he took another drag. “Besides,” He exhaled, “I’ve been smoking for years now, I think since I turned 12… maybe 11… or younger… I forget.” He shrugged.

 

Zayn didn’t say anything for a moment.

 

Liam forced himself not to turn around and check if Zayn was still there or not.

 

“Liam… please try to sto-“

 

“God you’re so hypocritical!” Liam exclaimed, turning around. “You’re telling me that I need to stop smoking when you do it too, and don’t give me any of that I’m trying to stop for the fans bullshit! You know just as well as I do that its not working out very well! I like smoking, I love the taste of it, I love the feeling and I really don’t need you of all people telling me that I need to quit, because you know what, I don’t  _need_ to do anything.”

 

“Liam, it kills people, it can ki-“

 

“I don’t care if I die from it or not! I wish it would have done it sooner.”

 

“You don’t mea-“

 

“Yes I do. You have no idea what my life was like before do you? Well, I’ll fill in the blanks for you; me, before you came out here, that’s what it was like.” Zayn’s eye brows furrowed in confusion.

 

“I didn’t have friends, I never had a- a girlfriend, hell, my first kiss was someone else’s truth or dare. I have scars, lots of them, a few are self inflicted, but a lot of them are from lockers, rings and concrete.” Liam chuckled to himself. “All because I was 'a little different’.” He didn’t mention anything about being gay, he was smarter than that.

 

“So before you go and expect me to change, just know that you don’t know me. None of you know me. None of you ever will, so stop pretending.”

 

With that he threw his cigarette and walked past Zayn and straight towards his room, where he contemplated on whether Zayn would miss him if he died, or not. 

 


End file.
